It has been my habit for many years to take a nap after lunch. I settle myself in a chair in the living-room with a cushion behind my head, and I read until I drop off. On that day, I was in my chair and feeling as comfortable as ever when my wife, who has never been a silent lady, began to talk to me. “These two people, the Snaps” she said, “what time are they coming?” I made no answer, so she repeated the question, louder, this time. I told her politely that I didn’t know.
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“We’ve met them only once, I don’t think I like them very much,” she said. “Especially him. A dreadful man, really. Never stops telling jokes, or stories, or something. And she is pretty frightful, too. When do you think they will arrive?”
“Somewhere around six o’clock, I guess. I’m sure you’ll manage them very well, dear.”
“But don’t you think they are awful?” she asked. “They are too awful, they really are. It’s too late to put the meeting off.”
“Then why did you ask them?” The question slipped out before I could stop myself and I regretted it at once, for it is a rule with me never to provoke my wife if I can help it. “You know very well why I asked them,” she answered sharply. “For bridge, that’s all. They play an absolutely first-class game, and for a reasonable sum.”
“The only time I met them I must say they did seem quite nice.”
“Arthur!” she called. “I’ve just had a marvelous idea. Now, listen. I was thinking how awful they really are…the way they behave…him with his jokes and her…Well, if that’s the way they behave when they are in front of us, then what must they be like when they’re alone together? All we’ve got to do is put a microphone in their room.”
I admit I was expecting something pretty bad, but when she said this, I didn’t know how to answer. “Here!” I cried. ”You can’t do that. That’s about the nastiest trick I’ve ever heard of. You don’t mean it seriously, do you?” I knew how much she disliked being contradicted, but there were times when I felt it necessary to assert myself. “Pamela,” I said sharply, “I forbid you to do it!”
“But listen, Arthur. I’m a nasty person. And so are you – in a secret sort of way. It’s just as right as when you found those letters of Mary Probert’s in her purse and you read them through from the beginning to the end. That’s why we get along together.”